BarPM - 13th and University

Well played, BarPM, well played.





















Nice poster. Pretty mirror. Vase of eucalyptus on the tank. Odd lack of toilet paper holder.

Dig this Guinness poster. As much as I dislike this bar (they don't serve any draft beer, much less Guinness draft; their prices stink; and they play horrible jam band music), I can't find anything bad to say about this bathroom.

Rating: no turds.

Crossroads, 19th and Ave. R

Floral Fantasy FAIL.

Nothing says "class" like a lei of fake pink gerber daisies draped over a bathroom stall door.

Unless it's a 1980s print of calla lilies with some eucalyptus on top of it.

Or this monstrosity over the mirror.

Biggest FAIL, though? It's the bar soap. I'm surprised they didn't have one of those creepy, cloth belt towels, too. Grody to the max!

Rating:

Blue Light, 19th Street and Buddy Holly

American Graffiti.


Graffiti is supposed to be a rebellious art. It is destructive. Clandestine. Verboten. Sneak a sharpie into the bathroom or, better yet, scrape out a message on the wall with a pocket knife or keys. Results are often amusing, as in the last post. However, bar-encouraged graffiti? FAIL.

This stall is COVERED in inane graffiti. "Marissa and Larissa love Tech!" "We Want Converse!!!" "Caitlin and Taryn run this shit!" If your name is Caitlin or Taryn, you likely don't run anything.

I have never seen so many hearts. So cute!!

Lamest tagging ever: "TTU Media Relations BAD ASSES Meg, Tess, Amanda!" Lord. I bet their boss would be proud to see his/her department name written on a wall in a bar bathroom.

Bathroom is spacious and clean, but annoying as hell.

Rating:

Bash's, Main Street and University

The Mile High Club






















This is truly the worst bathroom in Lubbock. Greeting you as you walk in (though you won't do much "walking" in this bathroom) is an overturned trash can. Yay!





















I'm not sure this photo relates just how small this bathroom stall is. The only thing separating this from an airplane bathroom is the lack of bright blue liquid in the toilet. If you are taller than 5'4", there is just no room to maneuver.






















The other, slightly bigger stall. (Wider, but no more leg room than the other one)







The only redeeming feature of this bathroom is the creative graffiti, which you get a very close-up view of.


















Classy, indeed. Also, I doubt very seriously that you can get Gewürztraminer at Bash's.







This ladies bathroom is so small that they have to mount the paper towel dispenser up by the ceiling. There was also no light, save a barely flickering fluorescent fixture...my camera flash was the only real illumination.



This place makes me want to check out adult diapers.






Rating:

Chips - 69th and Slide

Pretty in Pink...























Everything is pink. I wonder if the guys' bathroom is all done in blue?

Bonus: they have super shiny trashbags from the FUTURE.

Clean. Well maintained. Only drawback...large bar with only two stalls for the gals.

Rating:

The Library - 18th and Texas Avenue

The Green Mile

























This bathroom is huge and very, very green. The only negative aspects of this loo are its remoteness (it is sixty-one steps away from the table I usually sit at) and the fact that, without fail, every time I walk into this bathroom there are gangsta chicks arguing in it. "Girl, you betta watch yourself. I ain't even kidding."






Rating:

Depot Obar

It's like peeing in an alley. A clean, well-plumbed alley. Cute concept--alley fence gates, complete with address plates and alarm company signs. Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island is on the front door.

This is how bar bathrooms should be. Enough room to move around, bright, clean. Granted, this is a pretty new place--it has plenty of time to decay.

But for now, Zero steaming turds. Congrats, Depot Obar

Rocky LaRues

Keep it classy, Lubbock.

So cozy, so homey, so...burgundy. Love the wooden seat. They have a cinnamon-scented automatic air freshener that sounds like a sneezing ghost and that does an admirable job of covering up the sewer gas smell most of the time. BONUS: they had both paper towels and soap!

Rating:

Ah, and someone carved a shout-out to my friend Pat:

Lone Star Oyster Bar, 34th St.

The Swamp
















This, folks, is a shitty bathroom. In addition to the rampant grime, it's got a lot wrong with it. Notice the missing tank lid? This is because this toilet requires constant jiggling so you can flush it. There is often about an inch of water on the floor (don't wear long jeans). My favorite touch is the fact that they put a round toilet seat on an oval toilet. On the plus side, they always have paper towels and soap.

(This is the back bathroom. The one in the front is just about as bad. It's really small, smells bad, and has no mirror. I once walked in there as a guy had walked out after pissing all over the seat. Great.)



Rating: