Bash's, Main Street

Satan's Baño

This is the front bathroom, which is every bit as cramped as the back one.

Except, it has a real fancy fake brick wall!

Nice doorknob, too.

Is that an upside down cross?? Bash's worships Satan, clearly. These bathrooms are hell.

Rating: five hellishly steaming turds.

The Silver Bullet, 52nd and Aberdeen

Classy!

The Silver Bullet. What a dive. I figured their bathroom would be a nightmare.

I was right.

Who needs an actual sign affixed to a door when you could just scribble "women" directly on there with a black magic marker? These guys know how to save money in these trying financial times.

They even get increased revenue from a condom machine. Safe sex. Yay!

Nothing goes better with pepto bismol pink walls than a matte grey sink.

There are no words for the vileness of this floor.

How exactly does one "c*nt up" this bathroom any more than the management already has?

Wow. This was one super classy bathroom! Figures. They have a Texas A&M flag on the wall. This thing rivals Bash's.

Rating: Five big turds

Skooners, 17th and University

This is why we can't have nice things.

Chimy's,Broadway

Not Quite a Picasso

Ah, Chimy's. Home to frat boys and margaritas.

I hope everyone knows Spanish, otherwise it could get awkward.

This bathroom is a fusion of Cubism, Impressionism, and industrialism, what with the Picasso, Van Gogh, and corrugated tin.

Overall, not bad, Chimy's, not bad. However, I've seen this place jam packed with popped collars and big glasses. Only one stall? FAIL.

Rating: One turd

Skooners, 17th and University

Surprise! New sinks!! Now, if we could just do something about those ceiling tiles...

Jazz, 19th and Memphis

Mardi Gras

Purple and green everywhere. All they need is beads.

Plenty of mirrors

Some interesting graffiti:

Apparently, Trevor is a douche. I wonder if he could have avoided that, given that his name is "Trevor."

A sticker advertising The Local Nobodys, who, incidentally, have the most entertaining band bio I have ever read.

A little bathroom wall moralizing.

1) Jazz is also a restaurant

2) Why are you griping about kids' vandalizing property by vandalizing property?

Just sayin'

Rating: 0 turds

The Robbin's Nest, Slide & Marsha Sharp Freeway

Plain Brown Wrapper

The Robbin's Nest...what a place. From the look of the exterior and the bar itself (dark, odd, seedy), you'd think the bathrooms would be interesting. You would be wrong.

You would at least expect this bathroom to be well-used, what with the monstrously huge mugs of beer they serve in this joint.

Clean. Roomy. No graffiti. Yawn.

Rating: 1 turd