Bash's, Main Street

Satan's Baño

This is the front bathroom, which is every bit as cramped as the back one.

Except, it has a real fancy fake brick wall!

Nice doorknob, too.

Is that an upside down cross?? Bash's worships Satan, clearly. These bathrooms are hell.

Rating: five hellishly steaming turds.

The Silver Bullet, 52nd and Aberdeen

Classy!

The Silver Bullet. What a dive. I figured their bathroom would be a nightmare.

I was right.

Who needs an actual sign affixed to a door when you could just scribble "women" directly on there with a black magic marker? These guys know how to save money in these trying financial times.

They even get increased revenue from a condom machine. Safe sex. Yay!

Nothing goes better with pepto bismol pink walls than a matte grey sink.

There are no words for the vileness of this floor.

How exactly does one "c*nt up" this bathroom any more than the management already has?

Wow. This was one super classy bathroom! Figures. They have a Texas A&M flag on the wall. This thing rivals Bash's.

Rating: Five big turds

Skooners, 17th and University

This is why we can't have nice things.

Chimy's,Broadway

Not Quite a Picasso

Ah, Chimy's. Home to frat boys and margaritas.

I hope everyone knows Spanish, otherwise it could get awkward.

This bathroom is a fusion of Cubism, Impressionism, and industrialism, what with the Picasso, Van Gogh, and corrugated tin.

Overall, not bad, Chimy's, not bad. However, I've seen this place jam packed with popped collars and big glasses. Only one stall? FAIL.

Rating: One turd

Skooners, 17th and University

Surprise! New sinks!! Now, if we could just do something about those ceiling tiles...

Jazz, 19th and Memphis

Mardi Gras

Purple and green everywhere. All they need is beads.

Plenty of mirrors

Some interesting graffiti:

Apparently, Trevor is a douche. I wonder if he could have avoided that, given that his name is "Trevor."

A sticker advertising The Local Nobodys, who, incidentally, have the most entertaining band bio I have ever read.

A little bathroom wall moralizing.

1) Jazz is also a restaurant

2) Why are you griping about kids' vandalizing property by vandalizing property?

Just sayin'

Rating: 0 turds

The Robbin's Nest, Slide & Marsha Sharp Freeway

Plain Brown Wrapper

The Robbin's Nest...what a place. From the look of the exterior and the bar itself (dark, odd, seedy), you'd think the bathrooms would be interesting. You would be wrong.

You would at least expect this bathroom to be well-used, what with the monstrously huge mugs of beer they serve in this joint.

Clean. Roomy. No graffiti. Yawn.

Rating: 1 turd

Seven47, Norman, OK

Boomer Sooner??

Special Travel Edition - Norman, OK

Lubbock bars, take note: This is how you do a bar bathroom

Lounging sofa

Gorgeous sinks and interior elements

Stainless steel, stone walls, frosted windows.

Well played, Norman.

And lest you think this is a super pricey bar, they had $1 domestic pints. Lubbock, you've got to do better than you're doing.

Rating: no turds here.

Bash's 2, Depot

A Tale of 2 Bash's



It was the best of shitters, it was the worst of shitters, it was the age of legroom, it was the age of crampedness... oh, enough Dickens. I hate Dickens.


Hey, check out this bathroom:











































So, sure....there is toilet paper all over the floor, there's a missing tank lid, a broken tp dispenser, and the walls are painted electric Smurf blue, but this bathroom beats the hell out of the torture chamber masquerading as a bathroom at Bash's 1.




Bonus:























There is a secret bathroom at the front, in case you don't want to wait in line or you have an odd aversion to Smurfs. Warning: the door on this one doesn't lock, so take your favorite wing-girl with you.



Rating:








Bonus rating, for having only one bartender at a near-capacity show:




Thanks, Bash's.

Red Hana, Mac Davis & University

Raider Power!





I have never seen such a spirited bathroom. Red & Black everywhere!





























They even have black toilets! Wreck 'em!

























Haha. Reminds me of one of the more creative twistings of Tech's Fight Song...."You will hit 'em in the rectum, hit 'em rectum Texas Tech." Charming, no?


Red Hana, you go.





Rating: 0 turds.

Skooners, 16th and University

Teenagers?

What happened here? Were teenagers practicing their house-wrapping skills? Was this meant to camoflage some minor disaster on the floor? I don't know.

This is one of the most boring bathrooms in Lubbock. Unless someone flushes dentures down the toilet. Yes, dentures. Someone actually did that here.

Rating: